| How am i supposed to approach you with bandages on my wrists? |
[Mar. 9th, 2004|10:05 pm] |
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Ok so when i went to school today it was the hardest thing i've ever had to do. Just because of what happened on friday night with nick and all. I don't even know if he remember my name or not but i'm just hoping that i wasen't his proper hook-up because then i would not be rememberd. When he looked at me the piercing stabs enter me and i am in bliss. It is like a drug, being abused by him, I need to get my fix. I must resist yet i am pulled to him. How am i supposed to move out of the darkness when you keep turning out the light? Well i guess that me being noticed will never happen i am to sit in my room, hurting my self for the my entire exsistance. If there is a god he is cruel..............and i like it. |
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| bleed away the romance. |
[Mar. 7th, 2004|02:28 pm] |
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just one of my evergrowing problems, what little self esteem i have left, i don't use...i just bottle it up, forget it..it won't matter anyhow, you don't notice..i guess you get to caught up in the day to day drama of being you to notice me and what's become of my eyes. i've decided to limit my food intake, if i'm skinnier will you love me? hold me? pretend that it's all the same? it's not, darkened skies only grow darker. |
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| Saturday night, the night everything is supposed to feel right, but where are you? |
[Mar. 6th, 2004|09:34 pm] |
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So this is saturday night. I'm sitting by the phone waiting for you call but all i hear is my heart calling your name. The voice in my head tells me that i am too good for you to do this to me but i don't know if i have the self-respect i need to part from you. I am trying to figure out what i'm going to wear to school tomorrow but it doesn't matter because you still won't notice me. Little does he know how much he means to me. i lie awake in the shadows dreaming of our first kiss, but then i wake up and realize it was all a dream as were my chances of being with you.*slips into the abyss growing ever darker* |
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| Is this my life? |
[Mar. 6th, 2004|05:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the blood driping in the sink | ] |
SO today nick calls me and thinks he can patch things over with me by getting me a new razor blade. But it will take more then that to heal what he did to me. I will be emotionally ravaged for the rest of my life. The only way i can let you knwo how i feel is to think of a rose, a black black rose, it's life seeping from it's roots and being drianed of everything it knows and loves, being pulled from it's home and pulled around by some invisable string puller. I am your puppet. Do to me as you please. But if you have any heart you will make it long and painful.Oh and by the way if you are wondering what nick did to me.......he introduced himself. |
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